Happy B'day to Me

True Despair..

Here i am, once again sitting in front of my laptop..weeping over my life..it seems like i have been bitching more than ever.. but then again i only use my blog to express how i feel..rather than telling people how i feel..i just write it here cause i know it is safe.. as no one is going to read this blog..

Money has always been an issue..no money then nothing is possible..that is wat i am experiencing rite now..haha..laughing at myself..

I have big hopes and high ambitions..but nothing seems to be achievable..then again i should have gone out and fight my guts out rather than sitting here bitchin'.. I lose my motivation..singled out in my world..just doing things that i know it is right (at least for me)..

and i still miss her..I haven't been spoken to JJ.. but evrytime when i speak to her..she replied me in her cold manner that really hurts me.. but wat can i do? it is my fault..no one to blame except myself..

Isn't it true despair? hmm..i never imagine life is going to be this hard..every single day is just felt so discouraging me.. make me dun want to see the cruel world out there.. life is for us to live in.. but somehow i have lost the will to live.. but too afraid to give up.. tell me wat should i do?

A question that no one could answer even for myself..sometimes i ask myself..wat is the purpose of me living in this world?

Endless Beginning...

Has been two weeks since i left Perth.. but things are not happening as i want it to be.. Desperate and tired.. also lack of motivation..

It is so expensive living here.. people are not as friendly as in Perth.. Dunno why i never like this place..

Moreover i cant stop thinking about her..Dunno why..is this called Karma? but i never intend to fool around with her..

We are wat we are now..two world drifting apart..She can only blame me..but she never knows how i feel..sigh..there is nothing I can do.. all the things she never knew..

Career and relationship... two things that are so funny but yet intriguing..

Last Day in Perth

Time has come to say good bye.. to Perth.. to all of my frens here.. the bitter sweet feeling is undescribable..

There are so many memories here..now i have to leave all of them behind..after today i will be in a new place..

but i am just hoping that it will be another journey for me to finish.. I pray that Buddha will give me strength and wisdom to walk my path..

Spare Time Lovers 分身情人

i have been listening to this song..such a beautiful song..i really want to say that to her.. let her know that i am willing to do that..

To see her smile..hold her hands..be there for her..but will i be able to do that.. i am so sad.. so lonely..grieving..thinking of wat we have become..

3 days more in Perth.. My heart reluctantly leaving Perth..this is not my choice but i need to walk my path..dunno whether this is the right path or not

Arrrrgggghhh!!!

There is no word to express how i feel..
finally being able to chat with her.. and yet we are fighting till the end..

why? i dunno the answer..i wish i knew but i dun..
why cant she listen to me for one last time?

2 more weeks..

Another 2 more weeks then i will be leaving Perth.. Going to a new place.. Place that i have no idea about..is it a new beginning or repeating the same event?

Been busy lately looking for jobs and place to rent..Geez!! it is so hard when u have limited budget..i can't believe this.. i will be living on tight budget again!!

It has been 3 days since our last contact..but i dunno i just can't get her out of my mind..evrysong i listen to..evry couple i see on the streets..evry movie i watch..remind me of her.. it is too late to apologize..too late to make up..we are drifting apart faster than anything.. i miss jj so much...